The Survivor's Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life After Child Sexual Abuse
Based on the author's extensive training and experience in working with abuse survivors, The Survivor's Guide to Sex offers an affirming, sex-positive approach to recovery from incest and rape. While most books on the topic broach sexuality only to reassure women that it is alright to say "no" to unwanted sex, this one encourages women to learn how to say "yes" to their own desires and on their own terms. Points of discussion include problems common to women survivors. Haines teaches survivors to embrace their own sexual choices and preferences, learn about their own sexual response cycles, and heal through masturbation, sexual fantasy, and play. The Survivor's Guide to Sex includes resources, bibliography, and an index.Sex-positive and daring, The Survivor's Guide to Sex will support any woman's pursuit of pleasure and confidence. In fact, its cheery outlook may startle those who have been addressing these issues in guarded terms with a therapist, or who haven't put their fears and desires into words. Haines ably discusses common negative reactions among survivors, such as withdrawal and dissociation, and suggests ways to move on. Her chapters on "Sexual Response and Anatomy" and "Masturbation and Self-Healing" may come as a revelation to women who have repressed their sexual feelings, and partners, too, will find much of interest. Some survivors of abuse may not be ready, perhaps, for the advanced course in radical sex that Haines eventually launches into, but it is still good to learn that "a suede whip will give more of a thud that spreads sensation at first; it will give more sting as it collects body oils." --Regina Marler
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